Friday, September 26, 2008

Just stuff...

Okay, so I said I'd blog more often and yet, I haven't. My bad.

So here's what's going on and what's on my mind these days.

I'm crocheting like a freak!!! LOL. And anyone who knows me, knows what I mean.

I've read a couple of really good books. "The Shack". Definitely thought provoking.
And I'm reading "The Fisherman" now. So far it's good. I'm also into "The Ragamuffin Gospel".

As for my personal stuff.....

My daughter and I met the "head dude" in charge of all Melanoma research at UCLA. And his opinion - based on the size of her mole and the shallowness of it, regardless of the lymph node involvement, he's recommending no treatment. He feels that the treatment would do her more harm than good.

This seems like an answer to prayer. Yes, God has heard my cry. The cry to spare my child. Why He would choose to do this is beyond my understanding and I'm reminded that His ways are not my ways and my understanding is not the same as His understanding.

The only thing he is recommending is annual MRI's and Cat Scan's. She had her first MRI of her brain yesterday. And the Cat scan next week.

This is such a relief...... yet, I'm still in a "funk". A place in my mind and my heart where I feel like I'm in "limbo". I feel like I'm just supposed to "wait". Not do any more than what I'm doing, not get involved in any other projects. Just "wait". I'm not sure what I'm waiting for or why. Maybe it's because I'm turning 50 next month, maybe it's ..... I don't know. I just feel like I need to hang back and "wait".

Yet, there are things going on in my life that are blessings - seeing Jane again was huge. I miss SHOUT and my relationship with the woman who gave me back my voice.

My work is going good. Everyone is doing fine. My husband is fine. And I'm holding on to those blessings. Yet, I'm still in a funk. I really don't like it, but I know that God is up to something. Something great and wonderful.

Kristen and Jeff moved away (at least its not Georgia) but now I have no place to retreat to and have lunch with the boys. I've adjusted to this. I miss those times and wish that I could have them back. But things move forward and life continues to be fluid.

My neck issue is really becoming a problem. It's not Osteo Arthritis as originally suspected. And now the orthopedic specialist seems to think it's bursitis. Hopefully the PT will help as will the new drugs. I'm trying to have an open mind and be postive but I have this feeling that there's something more going on that I don't know about. Maybe that's just my pessimistic part coming out. I just don't know.

We're not moving anytime soon so we're going to redecorate the apartment to make it more "homey". This is the most exciting thing going on for me.

I'm really frustrated with the $$$ 700 Billion dollar $$$ bail out that the government feels we should pay for the mortgage industry. I say let them bail themselves out!!! Accountability people!!! Accountability!!! What's frustrating is that this is my tax dollars, that worked my hind end off for, and I don't even get a say so about it. ARGH!! And then what do I do if my own bank goes under. Jeez, life just gets so stupid sometimes.

Next post will be updated pictures.

There! I've shared.... (you know who you are.... )