Tuesday, August 4, 2009

It's been almost 3 months!

So, here it is coming up on 3 months since Scott’s passed away. I’m told by many people - friends that have experienced this, and professionals that this can be one of the worst times in the grief process. I’m not looking forward to it as it’s been pretty difficult for me already.

The immense feeling of sadness just wraps itself around my heart and mind and “takes over”. This happens at unexpected times and often inconvenient times.

The amount of grief I feel is also much more than I expected. I knew I would be sad that he’s not here with me anymore, but I didn’t think it would be such a “great” emotion.

Don't get me wrong, I have days where I've accepted that he's not here and I cherish those days for when I feel blown away that he's not just gone on a Project Mexico trip, or gone "for" a few days to visit his kids, or gone "for" fishing, but he's gone "for"ever.

Often times I wonder what it will be like when we meet again in heaven. I am really interested to see my husbands "glorified body". :-) Since all I've ever seen is one that has been ragged from drugs, alcohol and cancer.

I miss him and I’m sure I will miss him all the days I am alive on this earth.