Well, it's been about 3 weeks that I've been in my own place. Completely and utterly alone, but I think I might like it a bit.
I can come and go when I want without discussion about where I'm going, with whom, how long I'll be gone, when I'll be home.... It's nice, but... at the same time I miss that someone cares enough to want to know.
I dunno if that makes sense.
Scott has still be very present but kind of in the shadows lately. Someone said to me the other day that once you're dead, you're not able to communicate with the living. I tend to disagree.
I'm not saying that they actually "speak" to the living but the dead have ways to communicate. I never thought I'd be one to say this, but here I am saying it.
I have had this very strong "impression" that Scott wants me to look forward, not backward. That he wants me to move forward. In a way he's releasing me.
I don't want to be released but it's happening.
I'm quite content with my life the way it is right now. No drama, no fretting, no heavy weight upon me. God is actually giving me a break from the heartache I've felt for almost 2 years.
I keep trying to find a song that fits what I feel right now but I don't have one.
The only song that comes to mind is this one...
This is it... this is where I am right now. And ya know what???? It's OK!